Inspiration At the Soul Level     The Story of the Ego Close your eyes for a moment, take a deep breath. Under the layers is a silence. A silence to freedom. This gives rise to a new consciousness: a movement toward liberation...liberation from the traps of the mind. It is true that we do need a mind. It helps us with very important things. In fact, it helps us with all but the most important thing: solving the question of "who am I"?   In order to discover our authentic selves we must quiet the noise. We must let go of the judgments, the ego, the sense of self that is in conflict with all that is. It is important to allow ourselves to stop identifying with the events that have happened in our lives and to find the freedom of walking (in spirit) "between" the trauma and drama.   We must accept living in the dichotomy of, on the one hand, acknowledging our Divinity, and on the other hand acknowledging our complete Nothingness.  Certainly all along our life's journey we get glimpses of both and must remember the flow of "empower-surrender-empower-surrender." This is the true secret. The good news is that we all have the key to the universe. The even better news is that there was never a lock! The miracle of transformation is in the opening of consciousness.   If you understand yourself to be as deep as the ocean, you realize that you are the undercurrent of stillness. The "story" you have wrapped around you is an old worn blanket that may, in some strange way, comfort you in order to justify how bad you are feeling. When the blanket is dropped you will find a new freedom that can be disconcerting because it is the unknown...the you that you are learning to love.   The wall you built to keep others from hurting you again has, ironically, done nothing but barricaded the story and the pain inside. But it is YOURS and some of you will refuse to LET IT GO. In reality, "It" has already gone. You are the one to carry it throughout each day, to lug it around, to tell it to anyone who will listen. The event is gone but the story that YOU created is what remains.   The Power of Surrender The undercurrent is the peace of your essence. Once you know who you are, you know the essence in every other form. You are the timelessness of consciousness: God. You are the freedom of form between the traumas and dramas, between the judgments of self. You are the spaciousness of love. You are the beating drum of the heart. You are self-realized, and you have always been self-realized. All you have to do is awaken to the remembrance of this truth. There now comes a new intelligence, the intelligence that flows freely and is not focused on self. When you come to know each and every person as the same heart essence as yourself, it is then that you know yourself. You are awakened in that exact moment. This is where enlightenment resides.  You have held the pearl inside the lotus the whole time.   Namaste'   Katherine Preston/Lash

        

A correspondent from ABC News recently asked us to define "New Age."  Dan Harris had been doing some research on Sedona and was bewildered by the 80 or so "spiritual" businesses in town, offering everything from "dolphin energy healing" to a Doctoral Degree in Metaphysics.  We've seen it happen to many others.  Our town is so full of alternative explanations that many who come here seeking answers leave more lost and confused than when they arrived.  Hopefully, our response will provide some insight for all those who feel called to Sedona.

New Age spirituality is fundamentally different from religion in that it has no sacred tests, no founding fathers, no dogma, no centralized organization and no clergy.  It is characterized by an individual approach to spiritual practice and the rejection of religious dogma.

Humanity has struggled with the most basic and fundamental questions since the invention of language.  What is the nature of reality?  What is the meaning of life?  Who am I?  Why are we here?  Over the millenia we have turned to various prophets, sages,  philosphers and scientists to provide us with the answers. 

Whether we like it or not, we are now living in a new age where breakthroughs in science are challenging long held ideas about the true nature of reality, and much of the scientific evidence conflicts with tradtional mainstream theology.  Because our religions were founded on texts thousands of years old, they have not be able to shift with the new understanding that science has produced, and continue to adhere to beliefs that have been disproven.  At the same time we now have more information about spiritual traditions from around the world -- more than even the most academic experts had just a century ago.  All of this is forcing   people worldwide to take another look at their belief systems.  

Of course, some simply stick their heads into the sand and retreat into the familiar safety of fundamentalism. 

At SpiritQuest we have come to believe the major religions of the world share certain essential truths, and in these truths they are all pointing toward the same Divine source.  During our retreats we feel completely free to draw from Christianity, Bhuddism, Hinduism and Native America when discussing Universal Truth, and in this sense we are New Age.  What about the differences between them?  Doesn't someone have be right and the others wrong?  We believe these differences to be the expression of purely ethnic ideas, or attempts to fill in gaps in understanding with the inadequate information that was available at the time.  The ancients can be forgiven for being less than perfect.  Looking back from our modern perspective, it is far more amazing how much they got right. As much as we understand today, some of it will turn out to be wrong in the future.

We also have great respect for the power of science, and believe that new insights in quantum physics, psychology and brain science are pointing in the same direction.  This holds out the promise that the long-standing rift between science and religion may eventually be healed.  It is in this sense that SpiritQuest can be called a non-denomenational New Age retreat.  Our staff at wholeheartedly endorses the individual approach to spituality.  We believe the private one-on-one journey with a highly developed spiritual teacher is the most effective and transformative.

ABC News also asked us about all the psychics and the channelers in Sedona, and how we felt about The Secret and the Law of Attraction. 

If you think about it, two very different ideas are being postulated here.  Psychics claim your life is predestined, that THEY have the ability to foretell your future, and they are happy to tell you what IS going to happen -- for the right price, of course.  "The Secret" suggests that you have the unlimited ability to create your own reality, and therefore you can use the Law of Attraction to change your future into anything YOU desire -- once you've gone through a few of their training seminars.

We do not claim to know the full potential of the human mind. It seems to us there is a part of reality that you can control.  This is particularly true in the social realm.  Having a positive attitude and surrounding yourself with successful people clearly enhances your earning ability.  At SpiritQuest we believe there is an intuitive realm where individuals can make amazing things happen through intention.  But there is also another side of reality that is outside of our control... a side that must be surrendered to.

So life is a paradox between destiny and free will.  This is exactly the paradox Forest Gump speaks of at the end of the movie!  Thus it has always been, and perhaps always will be.  In accepting that we have the power to change our own lives through choice and intention, while at the same time surrenduring to that which is beyond our control, Katherine and I have found not only complete freedom but a profound joy as well.

Finally they asked, "How does one tell the true teachers from the fakes in the self-help industry?"  It's easy:  the true teacher wants you to finally get it.  They want you to graduate!  From that point forward LIFE becomes your teacher.  They do not seek followers or encouage attachment to anything other than Univeral Truth.  Mostly they accomplish their mission by asking questions and allowing you to discover the answer for yourself.  It's an individual journey to Universal Truth, in which even the wrong turns and scam artists can play an essential role by helping the seeker develop discernment.

To all our friends and family,

Namaste

        

When we develop within ourselves the capacity to love unconditionally, love even those who hate us, or love that which cannot give back, our spirits continue to grow larger -- and we become more beautiful as time passes -- even though our bodies fade away.  Forgiveness is the next step.  When we truly forgive we are made whole again.  Forgive everyone.  Most of all forgive yourself.  Let nothing from the past be carried into this miraculouos moment called the present.  The third step is gratitude.  We live in an age when our hearts should be filled with gratitude, yet how many people are really happy?  Self-knowledge and self-mastery are the final steps.  All that is necessary to know yourself is to be willing to open your heart and look within.  You must know yourself before you can own yourself.  Only when you own yourself can you live free from fear.  Only then can you be free to speak your truth straight to the face of power.  Of course, we adivse others against doing this sort of thing, but we do not always follow our own advice, or that of others whom we consider to be wise.  This is one of those times.  We find that we cannot remain silent any longer.

Greed is a hunger that can never be satisfied.  What is "good" about a hunger that can never be satisfied?  Let's be honest with ourselves.  What "thing" have we found that has brought us lasting happiness?  What type of leader does a system based on greed produce?  Most of our leaders today come from the business world, and have been rewarded for their relentless pursuit of self-interest. Why are we so shocked when they put their own selfish interests, their desire for money and "glory," ahead of the needs of those who place their trust in them?  How did we get here?  Why has it come to this?

        

Our original post was revised on 10/23 -- after some survivors spoke out and confirmed what we had suspected all along.

As co-founders of SpiritQuest Retreats in Sedona, we are deeply saddened by the tragic incident that occurred here recently, in which three people died and eighteen others were hospitalized.  Our hearts and prayers go out to everyone who was involved.  The leader of this so-called "Spiritual Warrior" retreat, world famous self-help author James Ray, has said he has more questions than answers about what happened during the sweat lodge ceremony. As veterans of over 100 sweat lodge ceremonies and retreat coordinators in Sedona, we humbly offer Mr. Ray some answers.

First we must say that what has been called a "sweat lodge" in the media bore only a faint resemblance to the Native American ceremony that we are familiar with.   We believe it should be properly referred to as a "death lodge."  Also, we do not believe it is necessary to push anyone to their physical and mental limits to accomplish the goals of the retreat: overcoming fear, self-acceptance, letting go of the past, and reprogramming the mind to allow for greater levels of happiness and abundance.

Let us be as clear as possible:  in our opinion Mr. Ray caused the deaths of three people.  If he is going to advertise a retreat that promises to push you beyond your limits, he has a moral and legal obligation to provide sufficient staff, with appropriate experience, to insure the safety of the participants.  That clearly was not done in this case, and the results speak for themselves. But a lack of sufficient staff is just the beginning.  Mr. Ray's lack of experience at conducting this ceremony is painfully obvious to anyone who has such experience.  At a previous retreat in 2005, also in Sedona, someone passed out and others were sickened during a sweat conducted by Ray.  He should have listened to the warning.

Those who have been in a sweat lodge before know that the person conducting the ceremony is in control of the most fundamental elements: how long the door is closed, how many rocks are brought in, how much water is poured on the rocks, how long the door is open between rounds, and how many rounds will be done.  These are the factors that determine the level of heat and dehydration participants are exposed to.  By definition, the person conducting the lodge, either Mr. Ray or someone he hired, was in direct control of these elements.  It is also important to understand that the person conducting the ceremony is sitting by the door.  Each time the door opens they get all the fresh air they want.  People sitting at the back are in the hottest part of the lodge and therefore at the greatest risk.  The seat at the very back, directly opposite the door, is sometimes referred to as the "seat of honor" precisely because it is the hottest.  In the Native American tradition, you are not qualified to conduct a sweat ceremony (and take responsibility for the lives of others) until you have experienced the very back of the lodge many times.  People may apprentice for several years before they are considered qualified enough just to tend the fire outside.

No traditional practitioner we know would ever use plastic tarps to cover their lodge, or attempt to conduct a ceremony with over 60 participants inside.  Still, had Ray the sweat ended after the traditional four rounds, everyone would have left alive and happy.  Many might have gone home transformed by the experience. 

By definition a sweat in this structure, with so many people, is NOT the traditional ceremony that has been practiced by Native Americans. If too many people show up, some are asked to sit outside and support those inside through prayer.  Given the number of mistakes that were made, it is surprising more people were not killed or injured.  Here Mr. Ray's lack of expertise and judgement really shows.

In a sweat with so many people it would have been difficult for anyone at the back of the lodge to leave, without everyone at the front getting out first -- significantly raising the social pressure to stay inside and endure.  The crowded conditions would have also made it impossible for anyone to get down low to the ground.  In every sweat lodge we have attended, participants have been told to get lower when they need to, since it is cooler and easier to breathe down low.  When an easy exit and the ability to get down low -- the only means of getting relief -- were eliminated, the stakes were raised significantly.  

The people who suffered burns were almost certainly sitting too close to the rocks, and got scalding hot water splashed on them as a result.  Or they may have been burned by steam at the top of the lodge if they could not get lower.  It is also possible to get burned by making contact with the glowing red rocks as they are brought in.  The fact that anyone suffered from burns is further evidence that this lodge was overcrowded.  A traditional sweat ceremony has no more than 10-12 participants.   If another 10 people had shown up with enough money, would Mr. Ray have tried to squeeze them in as well?

After reviewing all the facts that are now available, including Mr. Ray's web site and promotional materials, we believe the combination of all these factors made this tragedy almost unavoidable.  It is also evident to us that Mr. Ray is more of a charismatic speaker and writer than a spiritual leader, even though he uses deeply spiritual truths to sell his message.  The concepts and principles discussed in "The Secret" are actually very old, and were not developed by James Ray.  Quite the contrary.  What Ray has done is to subvert those sacred principles to make obscene profits, while disregarding the health and wellbeing of his followers.  His "spiritual" retreats are mostly about using the Law of Attraction to manifest wealth.  As spiritual retreat coordinators it is our opinion that there is no connection between money and happiness.  We tell our clients that the keys to happiness are developing your capacity to love others, forgiveness, gratitude and self-knowledge -- regardless of how much money you have.  Without these things, your level of happiness is more likely to decline as your income increases.

We are sickened that Mr. Ray has defiled a very sacred ceremony.   The  sweat ceremony we are familiar with is about how to live, not how to die.  We do not know what Ray has charged in the past, but this year he charged participants close to $10,000 to attend a five day retreat, which included 36 hours of fasting outside in the elements, without food and water.  For that price he could have constructed five separate lodges, divided the group among them, and accomplished the goals of the retreat much more safely.  But apparently his over-inflated ego needs to be "the guru," so he wanted to conduct the event himself, and ended up packing over 60 people into an inadequate structure. 

We are appalled at the outrageous statements that have been made by some of Mr. Ray's supporters.  In a conference call this week, a transcript of which is available online, one of Ray's staff members said that Kirby Brown and James Shore left their bodies and were having such a "fun time" that they chose not to return. Other online posts have said that they were somehow "lucky" to pass during a sacred ceremony. 

We feel such statements are deeply disrespectful of the families, and reveal a total lack of awareness about what really happened here in Sedona.  Now that we have heard from some of the survivors, it is clear that people tried to leave the lodge during the ceremony but were directed to stay.  Perhaps they were not having having fun.  We pray that Brown, Shore and Nueman are happy on the other side.  What we know is that they paid for something else, died unnecessarily, and never got the chance to say good-bye to their families.  Our question to Ray's supporters... was it their "intention" to die when they signed up for the retreat?   We call on all the survivors to step forward with their stories, so that a full picture can be revealed.

When Mr. Ray left Arizona immediately after the event -- BEFORE the memorial that was held by survivors the next day to honor Brown and Shore, and AFTER refusing to speak with investigators -- he revealed himself as someone lacking integrity.  Yet our prayers also go out to James Ray as well as the victims.  Perhaps he has not stepped up to take full responsibility for what happened because he is afraid.   Perhaps he is following the advice of his lawyers and his publicist.  It is our hope that he will find his integrity, find the courage to overcome his fear, and become the "spiritual warrior" he purports to be.

We call on Mr. Ray to restore the sanctity of Native American spiritual traditions -- by acknowledging that this ceremony was created by him, sold by him, held in a structure created for him, and then directly controlled by him from start to finish.  It was NOT done in accordance with the practices of any Native American tribe.

Mr. Ray has also defiled a sacred place.  His actions have blackened Sedona's reputation for the moment.  An apology to the people of Sedona would be nice, but we know that will never happen.  We believe the damage to Sedona's reputation will be temporary, for the energy here is strong.  So many people have come to our community with the right intentions that a single tragedy, which actually happened six miles away near John McCain's ranch, will not shift the deep spirituality for which this town is recognized.  Perhaps this event will send a message, loud and clear, to the charlatans and con artists that seek to use our reputation for profit. 

        

As we look at relationships today, we have to ask ourselves what has gone wrong?  Despite all the couples now in therapy, happiness with love relationships is at an all time low.  Both men and women are struggling to come to terms with the new roles required by our modern society.

Yet many couples not only stay together, they enjoy a level of trust and intimacy that allows them to thrive in aspects of their life well beyond the relationship.  If a satisfying, nurturing and passionate relationship is part of your definition of a successful life, then you should understand that such relationships do not simply happen; they are intentionally created and maintained.

With that in mind, take a hard look in the mirror as we consider the secrets of highly successful relationships.  Master these secrets and everything in your life will begin to flow much more easily.  These are not just the keys to finding and staying with the one you love.  Whether you are in contact with your husband, wife, children, parent, boss, co-worker or friend, most of these tools can be used to enhance that relationship.

Communication.  One of the surest predictors of divorce is the habitual avoidance of conflict.  If you cannot talk openly with your partner you do not have a solid relationship.  Of course, good communication requires that both partners be willing to listen to the concerns of other.  It also requires that they choose the right time and place for the discussion.  Ambushing your partner with a problem as they come in the door after a long day a work is never a good strategy if you want to have a productive conversation.

Respect.  Avoid raising your voice, interrupting, or degrading your partner by calling them names.  The trick is to manage conflicts in such a way that your partner cannot doubt for a second that you truly love them.  Just unloading your anger and frustration on your partner is NOT good communication.  It should come as no surprise that a spouse who has been verbally or emotionally abused is not going to get too excited about jumping between the sheets with their abuser.  Imagine how much better things will go if you have your arguments sitting down, face to face and holding hands!

Process intense emotions elsewhere.  Too much drama is severely damaging to the long-term health of any relationship.  Get a psychologist or a pastor and vent the worst of your sadness, pain and anger with a professional who is getting paid to listen.  Emotional dumping only adds stress to your relationship and drains all the joy out of it.  Have you ever been around someone who was always depressed or angry?  Were you attracted to them?  Of course not.  Don’t expect your partner to absorb an endless stream of negative emotions.

Honesty.  Even a small lie will be difficult to sustain.  The truth will eventually come out, and when it does the trust between you will be damaged.  It will not take very many instances before the damage is permanent.  Once the trust is gone your relationship will be dead in the water.

Dependability.  This is one of the things we all seek in relationships - someone who will be there for us when it counts.  If you make a promise to do something, make every effort to keep it!

Personal Growth.  Never stop learning.  Explore new things and allow your partner the freedom to explore their areas of interest also.  No one wants to be in a stagnant, stifling relationship.  Many people expect their partner to provide all their happiness.  While you definitely should find common interests that you share, the problem occurs when one or both of the partners have no identity of their own outside the relationship.  If you stop learning and growing, eventually you will simply run out of things to talk about.  All marriages should have things the partners share as well as differences.  The marriage will be functional as long as each spouse can support the other’s differences.

Devotion.  Praise and affirm your partner every chance you get, but only when it is sincere.  Everyone wants to be appreciated and encouraged.  Part of being a devoted partner is also the contribution you make, both in time and resources.

Money.  There is no denying that many a relationship has been destroyed by arguments over money.  The simple way to avoid this is to sit down together and budget.  This way both partners are involved in setting priorities and both know where the relationship stands in terms of fiscal health.  If there is money left over after the essentials are taken care of, give each partner an equal share to spend as they see fit.

Spice it up in the bedroom!  Explore each other’s fantasies.  There is nothing that will kill your sex life faster than predictability, and as long as both partners are physically healthy, sex is a pretty good barometer for the health of the relationship.  However, keep in mind that some fantasies are better left in the imagination.  Anything that is degrading to your partner will not be healthy for the relationship.  But there is no reason not to use candles, oils, scents and silk. Imagination can be your most erotic attribute.

Stay healthy.  Watch your diet and your bad habits.  Get out and get some exercise every day.  Get out with your partner and have an adventure every week.  Once you stop moving you are on the fast track to serious health problems.

Most of us spend far too much time living in the past, where we tend to dwell in feelings of anger, resentment, regret, guilt and shame.  When we are not dwelling on the past we tend to be thinking about the future, where our thoughts center mostly around the fear of what might happen.  No matter what mistakes you have made in the past, you can insure that your future will be bright and happy by choosing to work on yourself in the present.

You can create the loving, nurturing relationships that give purpose to our lives by mastering these key strategies.  A great way to make certain that you are ready for true love is make a list of the traits your ideal partner would have -- then work on developing those traits in yourself!  SpiritQuest Sedona offers amazing personalized couples retreats in Sedona, AZ where those who want experience the joy of real intimacy can master these skills.